My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
