McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
two words...techno handjob
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
