Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I can't trust your balls anymore.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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