I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Who died my cat blue again?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
