As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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