Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
