when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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