ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
