sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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