Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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