And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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