I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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