New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
