She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
