Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
