my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
