i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
