Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
