I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
