can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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