How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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