It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
