And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Randomize
