so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
