Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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