You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
