Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We left an ass print on the piano.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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