But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
