we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
