I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Randomize
