Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
