You made me cry and you don't even care
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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