Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
