yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
