bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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