im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
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