How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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