It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I forgot how hot balto sounded
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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