The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
