just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize