I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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