id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
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