I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
