i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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