I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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