wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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