Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
