i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
