I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
