You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Me. At least after what I've been through.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
