I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
