Im at strip club and am horny
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We're too hungover to prance.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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