I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
pray to the hookup gods
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
