nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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