Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
