I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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