we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I understand Curling. That high.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
