That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Sext me about skeletons
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
